Leesa’s Life

Archive for December 2010

Christmas is over and I don’t know if I enjoyed it or not. I had a wonderful time (for a change) at my mother in-laws house on Christmas Eve. That is until my daughter and her boyfriend showed up. I’m still not a fan of him and it’s just so hard to be civil when he’s around. I think he’s a total jerk from his past actions and I really don’t think he’ll ever change. Many others who have met him also feel this way about him. Plus he was acting odd all evening. He wouldn’t talk to anyone, kept sulking in the corner, didn’t participate in any of the games the family played, basically just sat like a bump on a log the entire evening. My husband and I tried to include him in our conversations but we’d just get the occasional grunt in response. I finally just gave up and ignored him like he was doing everyone else.

The next thing I knew my daughter was at my side, a look of pure fear on her face. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that her boyfriend and her dad had just went outside to “talk”. Great. I figured that my husband was reading the boyfriend the riot act, letting him know that if he was there that he needed to be more civil and act like an adult instead of a child. I grabbed my coat and headed out the door to look for them. I heard their voices in the distance. Sounded like they were in the garage so I headed that way. Just as I walked up to the door, I heard something that made me sick to my stomach. My husband wasn’t in there reading the boyfriend the riot act…no…he was in there giving his blessing for the boyfriend to ask our daughter to marry him!!!!!! This boyfriend, who I can not stand, was going to ask my baby girl to marry him. I couldn’t handle it.

I went back inside and locked myself in the bathroom for the next twenty minutes. I did think I was going to be sick and I couldn’t bear to even look at anybody because I knew they’d see my look of pure disgust regarding this bit of news. I did eventually come back out and finished up the rest of the evening with my family, but I’m sure it was noticeable that I was much more quiet.

Christmas morning I celebrated here at home with my husband and son. I enjoyed that very much, but then we headed over to my parents house. That is how we’ve done for years. We celebrate there with my parents and my brothers family. This year was very different. My daughter wasn’t with us for the drive there and my brother is now divorced so no sister in-law. My daughter did end up showing up and she was supposed to bring the boyfriend along, but apparently when he woke up Christmas morning Santa must have left him coal in his stocking because daughter said he was too grumpy to come along. Wow, nice way to start out being a part of this family, huh?

She showed everybody her ring and was all smiles and giddiness, as she should be, I guess. I just keep thinking that she is not ready for all this. She’s 19 years old, still in school, only has a part-time job. They live in a crappy little trailer (nothing wrong with trailer living, it’s just small and old). He works as an apprentice in the union so isn’t considered full time either and has no benefits plus is laid off work several times throughout the year. Also, he has a craptastic attitude. When things don’t go his way, he pouts. He’s 20 years old but acts like a 5 year old A LOT. I just worry that this won’t work out for her and she will get hurt. Guess I’m just being an over protective mom.

In time, I’ll accept it, I’m sure. Right now I just need to wallow in my own self pity. I always dreamed that my kids would meet princes and princesses, people who would treat them both like the special people that they are, that they’d grow up to be successful and not have the same worries that their dad and I had when we first got married. I dreamed that these people would move into our family seamlessly, that we’d all get along and love each other like we’d known each other forever, but that isn’t happening, not with my daughter’s boyfriend anyway……errr fiancĂ©, I guess I should say…so hard not to gag on that word. I guess my main worry is that with us not getting along with the “fiancĂ©” that will mean that I won’t get to see my daughter as much and in the distant future, my grandkids, and that’s scary. I know it happens to a lot of family’s but I just don’t know if I could bare it happening to mine.

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Twas a few days before Christmas and all thru the house…..mom was practically pulling her hair out to get everything ready for the big day. It has GOT to be time already. Seems like I’ve been buying gifts, wrapping gifts, baking cookies and making fudge for weeks now. Every time I think I’m done, something else comes along that needs to be done.

I “thought” I had all my shopping done only to have hubby come home one day and say “So, what did you buy for my sister’s family?” Excuse me? What did I buy? Since when am I his personal shopper? Apparently this year. So back to the mall I go, shopping list in hand.

I “thought” I was finished with my baking. I had sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, Mexican wedding cakes and oatmeal cookies baked and packaged, ready to be given as gifts to our neighbors. My son comes into the kitchen one day afterwards and says “Oh, these are going to be great to give to my teachers before Christmas break” Umm, ok, I guess. So back to the oven I go.

Fudge was made (chocolate walnut and peanut butter) It was eaten last week…all gone…every single piece went adios. I made more today. Just one batch of chocolate walnut. I’m finished. If this disappears along with my cookies, my family will just have to wait until next year. If another gift is added to my already finished shopping list, someone else will be braving the mall to get it. Momma is finished. I have 2 days to enjoy some peace and quiet, to sit with some hot chocolate and, ok, maybe a sugar cookie or piece of fudge and watch A Christmas Story while curled up underneath a nice, warm blanket. Two days to enjoy the Christmas tree lights and beautiful decorations. Two days………..

My family doesn’t have a lot of holiday traditions, but the few that we do have we enjoy doing every year. Last night my hubby, son and I decided to do our yearly Christmas light drive. We bundle into the car, grab some hot chocolate (or peppermint mocha’s from Starbucks…yum!) and head out to look at all the beautifully decorated homes.

Unfortunately, by the looks of what we found, not many people are into the holiday spirit this year. We found very few decorated homes and the ones that we did see were very sparse in the lights this year. It was disappointing, but also understandable the way the economy is right now. I’m sure people have other things on their minds then lighting up their homes with Christmas lights.

I think the most disappointing area though was our local park. Each year they decorate the picnic shelters with lights, inflatable’s, etc. Several area businesses, schools, and charities pick a theme and decorate elaborately. There is a Christmas train that gives rides to the kids, horse-drawn carriage rides for the adults, Santa is in his house listening to kids and their Christmas wishes, music and hot chocolate flow freely…..except this year. When we first entered the park, we knew something was up because the main picnic shelter was dark…no lights, no decorations, nothing. We drove on and it was more and more of the same. Either the shelters were completely dark and empty or there were minimal decorations. Santa’s house was dark, no train, no carriages, nothing…just a couple of decorated shelters and that was it.

Hubby and I are hoping that next weekend is better. Maybe this weekend was just too early and they hadn’t gotten done as quickly as they usually do, maybe next weekend things will be lit up and running. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for that anyway because like I said earlier, we don’t have many traditions, but the ones that we do have I really want to enjoy.