Leesa’s Life

Archive for May 2010

Letting Go

Posted on: May 15, 2010

When I gave birth to my first child, I never thought in a million years that when it came time for her to move out and be on her own that it would be so damn hard to let her go. I never ever thought it would be so hard.

These past two weeks have given me a taste, granted a bad taste, of what life is going to be like around here without my daughter. Unfortunately, it’s been a terrible time in our house because nobody wants to admit that it is time to let her go and do her own thing. Ok, neither me nor my husband wants to admit this. Everybody else has said that you have to let go, you have to let them learn from their own mistakes, you have to step back and just let them grow up. It is hard though to step back after spending nineteen years teaching her the difference between right and wrong, setting rules to keep her safe, watching her grow and really develop into her own person. To send her out into the world, knowing full well that I can no longer keep her safe from harm just isn’t sitting well with me. My gut tells me that I have to, but my heart is telling me otherwise.

I can not handle the stress of trying anymore though. This house has been a literal house of horrors these past few weeks and I really can not take it any longer. The stress, the anger, the arguing, the indifference, it is too much. The only way to get rid of it is to let my daughter go out and live, do her own thing, live her own life, make her own rules, and hope and pray that things work out for her and that she doesn’t get hurt along the way. I just hope this really is the right thing to do.