Leesa’s Life

Archive for September 2008

I don’t know what I did, but for the past few days my back has gotten progressively worse…again.  Just a bit of background info for those of you who haven’t been reading this blog for very long.  Back in May, I herniated a disc in my back.  After many doctors visits, I found out that it was too dangerous to do any type of surgery on it because of my scoliosis.  The doctor did tell me that some herniated discs heal on their own and I should wait and see how mine did. 

Fast forward to the past month….I was actually feeling pretty good.  I could walk without pain as long as I didn’t over do things.  I could actually sleep without pain.  I was feeling pretty close to normal again.  Able to do most of the things I’d done before I ruptured the disc.

Fast forward again to this past weekend….I woke up Saturday with a small ache in my lower back.  It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.  I figured I’d just slept wrong so popped a few ibuprofen and went about my day.  The ibuprofen helped and I didn’t think anything else of it.  Sunday, same thing happened.  I woke up a little stiff and achy, took some ibuprofen, felt better and went about my day.  Monday though was different.  I took ibuprofen again, but it didn’t help.  I had to take my son to the doctor and knew there would be a lot of walking involved so hoped for the best with the ibuprofen and went on with the drs. visit.  Got home and had to do some office work.  By this time, my back is just throbbing.  The ibuprofen is NOT working at all so I break out the heating pad.  Finish up my office work and as I go to stand up, my back spasms and I can’t move!  Wait it out, get mobile again and decide enough is enough and take a vicodin.  I went to bed and could feel my back relax and I’m thinking to myself that is good, now I can get some sleep and I’ll be fine in the morning. 

WRONG!!!!!  I woke up at 2am because I had to use the bathroom.  When I stood up to get out of bed, my right leg totally went out from under me.  I had no strength in it at all.  I’m down on the floor now and can’t get up so I had to wake up hubby and have him help me to the bathroom then back into bed.  Embarrassing?  Yes.  This morning, I’m still in pain.  No matter how I sit, stand, lay, I hurt.  I actually feel the same way I did right after my disc herniated the first time.  Does this mean that any healing that it had done is now kaput?  Do I have to start all over again?  Or will it even start to heal again?  Will it only get worse now instead of better?  I’m so frustrated and upset now that I dont’ even know what to do.  The doctor I saw told me that the only way they’d operate to repair the disc would be if I lost all ability to walk and/or lost bowel/bladder control.  Thankfully, neither of those things have happened and I really hope they don’t. 

I guess, for now, I’ll go back to what I was doing before and that was taking it easy and just praying every day that things get better.  Not much else I can do right now so guess that’ll have to do.  I know things could be worse.  This is a small deal compared to some of the things that other people I know have going on in their lives.

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There is only one good thing about being sick and that is the loss of taste and appetite.  Since this cold decided to bite me in the butt over the weekend, I’ve actually lost 3 lbs!  Nothing tastes good and even if it did, I’m not hungry.  So, even though today I can barely hear because my ears are so stuffy and I can’t breathe out of my nose, I’m at least happy that I’m losing weight.  This cold is sure making it easy to stick with my diet 🙂

Why is it that as soon as the kids start school, we all end up sick? It started about two weeks after school started. My daughter woke up one morning with a sore throat. She was sick for a few days then my son caught it. Next in line was my hubby and over the weekend the illness finally chose to hit me. I woke up Friday morning with a super sore throat. It felt like I was swallowing glass. Ouch. Saturday I woke up with chest congestion and Sunday I woke up with stuffy ears. Thought I was going to die by the time I went to bed last night so took some Nyquil and went to sleep. Woke up at midnight with a fever, but thankfully when the alarm went off this morning I was feeling halfway human.

Today I’m just stuffy and have a little bit of a cough. Nothing that is going to keep me from working, although I would love to milk it out for all its worth and just spend the day on the couch, watching soap operas and eating chocolate 🙂

I got up this morning, used the bathroom, stripped down and hopped on the scale (gotta be as light as possible, you know) and was pleasantly surprised to see a 6 lb. weight loss for the week. I’m very happy especially after feeling like I was starving to death on those first three days of the new diet.

I know that I am actually getting used to eating healthier because yesterday after taking my son to the doctor, although I was famished, and we did stop at McDonald’s, I ordered a SALAD! Yes, a salad! With fat free italian dressing, I scraped off the cheese (that was hard) and had grilled chicken on top. AND, AND, here is the part that really made me smile…..I was actually FULL when I finished. Shocker of all shockers there because before when I’d go, I’d ordered a Quarter Pounder, fries and a drink and still be hungry afterwards! Yeah, I was a pig. Anyway, I was so proud of myself and my son was proud of me too, although he ordered a Big Mac, fries and a chocolate milkshake then proceeded to smile incessantly while he chowed down on it all. But, he is a 13 year old with the metabolism of a hummingbird so those calories were burnt off before he even stepped foot out of my car back at school. Oh to be young again 😦

Anyway, just thought I’d update ya’ll on my diet for the week. I know next won’t bring as big of a loss, but any loss will be fine with me. Later!

This diet has actually been going pretty well. I’ve ate what I’m supposed to, when I should, in the right amounts. I’ve been hungry before bedtime, but that was expected and is getting easier to deal with as the week progresses. I was so used to eating while watching tv in the evenings that it is taking some getting used to, but I am doing it.

I’m hoping by this weekend that the hunger is pretty much gone. I can tell that I’m getting used to eating smaller portions because what used to just be a snack for me is actually filling me up now. And I’ve been doing really well with eating more fruits and veggies and less carbs. I didn’t realize how many carbs I was eating before!

I have yet to exercise for a long period of time. My back just won’t let me do it longer then 20 minutes. I’ve tried the exercise bike, walking, aerobics, pilates, stretching, etc. and 20 minutes is the limit on all of those things before my back just starts throbbing and pain shoots down my leg. I hope once I get a few pounds off that it takes enough pressure off my herniated disk to allow for more exercise, but if not then I’ll just do what I can and hope it is enough.

I’ll weigh in Friday and hopefully be able to post a good loss. More then!!!

When I first started blogging, I mainly wrote about my struggle to lose weight and become a healthier person. If you’ve read my blog from the beginning then you know how hard that journey has been for me. I’ve tried several times and each time failed. I had a little bit of success with Nutrisystem a couple of years ago and lost 43 pounds, but after a year of following their diet plan, I got sick of the food, thought I could continue to lose weight on my own, and then went right back to my old eating habits and promptly put all those pounds back on. I restarted NS last year, didn’t have the same luck with it, and quit yet again. I’ve followed Weight Watchers for years before that with a little bit of luck then stupidity followed and I gained all the weight back plus some.

After my last bout with Nutrisystem, I pretty much stopped dieting. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, how much I wanted and didn’t look back. That is until this past weekend. On Saturday, hubby and I decided to get away for the evening and spent the night at our favorite place in Evansville. We had plans of going to the casino, gambling a little bit, then eating a nice dinner, maybe seeing a movie…just enjoying time together basically. Well, the casino was fun, the gambling ok (I lost $20, but that was it), we nixed the movie as there wasn’t anything playing that either one of us really wanted to see. So, comes time for dinner and we decided to try a restaurant that we’d never been to before called Bonefish Grill.

It was great except for one thing. When we sat down at our table, I didn’t have hardly any room. The tables were set pretty close together and when I sat down, my big body pretty much kept me from scooting my chair up close enough to the table and I kept bumping into the guy sitting behind me. It was very embarrassing to me and because of it, instead of truly enjoying myself, I was self concious and spent the entire time there worrying that I was going to knock the drink out of the poor guys hand every time I’d move the least little bit. Anyway, after we left, I told hubby that I would never feel that way again and vowed then and there to do something about my weight once and for all.

Yeah, I’m sure a lot of people are thinking, what makes this time different then any of the others that she’s tried to lose weight? Well, this time I have that feeling to carry with me so that any time I feel like giving up, all I have to do is reach back into my memory and remind myself how I felt at that restaurant. The shame, the embarrassment, that feeling of all eyes being upon me. I don’t ever want to feel that way again.

As of this morning, I’ve been following the Duke Nutrition diet. It is going ok and after a lot of research on their website, I’ve found a lot of recipes that sound yummy, but not too hard to fix, and I think everyone in my family will actually enjoy eating them.

So, wish me luck. Any comments or suggestions will be appreciated. I WILL do it this time. I have to.

Just a few snippets of different conversations heard in my car tonight when our family went out for the evening.

Setting: My car….hubby and I in front seats, kids in the back seats.

Son to Daughter: They added a no smoking clause to our handbook at school today.
Hubby to me: Did he just say he has smoking balls?

Son to Daughter: I’ve got reflexes like a cat.
Daughter to Son: Yeah, a dead one.

Daughter to Son: (talking about curse words you can say at school) You can say ass when you’re talking about a donkey, but if you call someone a female dog you’ll still get in trouble.
Son to Daughter: You mean, dawg is a bad word? I call my friends that all the time.

and finally, my little gem…..
setting: everyone is laughing hysterically over one of the above quotes and I sneeze only to ask a few minutes later…..

Me: Did I sneeze? Because I feel like I sneezed. I have that feeling in my nose, but I can’t remember if I actually sneezed or not.

Yeah, I know. We’re ALL just a little bit odd 🙂